A Ritual
Backdrifts. Honeymoon is over… Radiohead. The title fits my current mood.
My mind drifts back to times of un0happiness with men. I question my heart and how I have allowed it to get involved with those I’ve chosen to have relationships. Only to be so utterly heartbroken, not because of not getting along, rejection or falling out of love (though those elements have been part of the broken heart), but because of being treated with such disrespect, especially toward the end, only to find later that I agreed to this in some way.
Go to sleep. Little man being erased.
Yes, I want to sleep now.
I’m tired now.
I envision clouds. I want to paint this on myself. Rain drops. Heart drops.
My heart drops
in sorrow
a ritual
expressed
in paint
a ritual
expressed
in love
My heart drops
in disappointment
a ritual
expressed
in words
a ritual
expressed
in rhythm
I am sad because human beings are a terrible species treating one another with such harshness and an unconscious, selfish disregard. I am sad because I find myself more and more disappointed by how careless people are with each other, despite my fairly consistent optimism and general cheerfulness.
I’ve had this most wonderful encounter of being treated with such kindness, respect, care and love. So much so, that it’s led me to think more about how others treat me. I am grateful to experience being treated well–with love, kindness, care, compassion, understanding…deep, deep care that is expressed outwardly.
And I am inspired again. That there is good and love, that humans can treat one another well.
I am inspired to feel joy and happiness.